“It ain’t over till it’s over.” -Yogi Berra
Last Monday evening on Fox News, Tucker Carlson emphatically confirmed the claim that the plague of CoViD-19 had ended. Later that evening, this elderly commentator suffered the onset of that same malady, confirmed not by the opinion of a broadcaster with no background in Biology or Medicine but by a specific, objective laboratory-based test. Reading? Positive!
Not wanting to become a physician who treats himself having a fool for a patient, I notified my Internist. A day later, his nursing assistant returned my call. Her suggestions were the following:
1) nasal decongestant — good suggestion;
2) Mucinex pulmonary decongestant — popular but close to worthless
3) Seek attention at a hospital if temperature >103° — reasonable but risky;
4) Tylenol if fever <102° — problematic given fever is an essential bodily defense and Tylenol not without risk.
Late the next night, I awakened with severe congestion burbling in my upper respiratory tree accompanied by fits uncontrollable, non-productive coughing with severe pain in the laryngeal area with each swallow. I began feeling frantic. Yes, even physicians have emotions.
Then, a thought! An age-old remedy — alcohol. The burning of the Babencourt Haitian Rum felt as though I’d swallowed a burning ember. Alcohol acts as a local anesthetic; despite the initial agony, it relieved some of the laryngeal pain and some of the coughing for a few minutes. That brief reprieve provided me the opportunity to reconsider my options.
As the cursed symptoms were returning, I said to myself, “Sometimes, the old treatments still are the best treatments for patients; if not for Big Pharma. Steam!”
I brought a medium sized pot of water filled two inches from the top to a roiling boil. I removed the pot from the stove to a protected tabletop. Then, removing the lid and covering my head with a bath-towel, I slowly moved my face towards the pot until I barely could feel the vapor. (WARNING! DO NOT APPROACH THE POT QUICKLY, OR YOU CAN BURN THE DELICATE TISSUE OF THE RESPIRATORY TRACT.)
SHAZAM!!! Within minutes my symptoms began abating. After an hour of breathing vapor, the congestion largely was gone as was the laryngeal pain. They remained gone the remainder of the night.
I have continued to use the procedure for several nights with good success. Blessed relief immediately available at no cost. A gift from God not from Government.
(Note: Please excuse any typos herein. My executive functions remained slightly impaired from the virus.)