My Pet Is Your Problem

The Americans with Disabilities Act combined with the Air Carrier Access Act essentially allows persons to label themselves as “disabled” and to proclaim dogs as well as other animals necessary for their well being; thereby, forcing the airline to allow the animal into the compartment designed for human passengers. As discussed in the recent novel, Retribution Fever, critics of these Acts regard this policy as an example of “humanitarianism” having devolved into an obscenity and the nation having entered into societal insanity.

Tale of One Traveller’s Woe
“That’s the biggest lizard I’ve ever seen,” said the matron cradling a miniature, white poodle.”

The portly man sporting sagging jowls looked past his bulging belly with love in his eyes to the large, leashed lizard on the floor at his feet. “Yep, he’s a beauty. I get so depressed when he’s not with me.” The lizard seemed unimpressed.

“Oh, I know what you mean.” replied the woman. “I take Fruity-Pie with me everywhere. She’s the love of my life.” The dog let loose a series of squealing yaps at the lizard then passed an invisible but immediately noticeable cloud of putrid gas. Even the lizard seemed to take notice.

Eyeing the woman critically, the portly man could understand how she had come to feel that way. He kept his thoughts to himself, however.

Unknown to the animals themselves, the dog and the lizard had something in common besides being non-human vertebrates. They both wore vests visually screaming the words, “Service Animal”.

It was then that a young man approached the uniformed, young woman behind the service-counter. “Will those animals be on this flight?” he inquired in a bass voice.

“Yes, Sir. They’re both ‘Service Animals’. It’s the law,” she answered.

“Well, I’m sorry, but you can’t allow that dog onto this flight. I’m violently allergic to dogs. If that dog causes me to have an attack of asthma, I could go into status asthmaticus and die.”

“We can put you onto a later flight if you wish. The next one leaves in seven hours,” responded the agent, flashing a smile of cool insincerity. “Of course, I can’t guarantee that it will be free of ‘Service Animals’.”

“Why should I have to surrender my seat, so a dog can fly in the passengers’ compartment? Why not put it in the hold where it belongs?”

“I’m sorry, Sir. We can’t do that. The Americans with Disabilities Act prohibits it.”

“What about my disability … a life-threatening allergy to those mutts?”

“I’m sorry, Sir. I can’t see your disability. I can see the dog.”